• Foxy

Bisexuals Don't Owe Y'all Sh**

Updated: Aug 30

Diamond's rejection of Carlton shines an ugly spotlight on the issues bisexual men still face.

Carlton and Diamond of Netflix's "Love Is Blind".

I love me some Netflix, but I hadn't heard of this show "Love Is Blind" until today. I fully admit to watching reality TV shows like the myriad "Love & Hip Hop" shows, but dating shows aren't really my niche. But what has my attention on this particular reality love show is a

clip from an episode where two characters, Carlton and Diamond, broke off their engagement because the former revealed to the latter the night prior that he was bisexual.


Carlton's sexuality does not matter AND SHOULD NOT HAVE MATTERED.

Let's be real, here: the break-up wasn't about Carlton being bisexual, it was really about Diamond's inability to accept Carlton and blatant biphobia, which sadly is still a norm for many a bisexual man these days.

It's one thing to feel a certain way about your partner keeping aspects about themselves from you, but the only reason a person would ever feel "betrayed" by a person for not knowing their sexuality is if they think being bisexual is akin to say, being a pedophile, or a rapist...


NO, REALLY, SOMEONE TWEETED THAT

...or a whole host of bigoted and ignorant associations that have plagued bisexual men and people for decades:

  • bisexual men don't know if they want to be with women or men

  • bisexual men can't be faithful

  • bisexual men are really gay

  • bisexual men are the reason the rate of HIV/AIDS has risen in hetero women

Diamond tried to hide her internal biphobia behind feeling betrayed that she was honest with Carlton about herself, but he didn't do the same.

But here's the thing: Carlton's sexuality does not matter AND SHOULD NOT HAVE MATTERED, whether he decided to disclose it to Diamond before their wedding, AFTER their wedding, before they hooked up exclusively...IT. DOES. NOT. MATTER. It only mattered to Diamond because of her bigoted perceptions of bisexual men, which she made pretty damn clear when she told Carlton that he should've disclosed his bisexuality earlier so that she "would have been able to make a better decision" or just ease herself with "oh, he knows for sure he wants to be with a woman"...

...as if that's justified or inspires reassurance that she would've chosen Carlton anyway if he HAD told her he was bisexual sooner!


This "disclosure" argument is the same one that trans folks face regarding their gender; it is both biphobic and quite homophobic in inception and practice because it perpetuates the idea that if a man has ever slept with men, it's not only "bad", "nasty" and negative, but also a risk for hetero women. The "disclosure" argument is nothing more than another means of rejecting a group of people because of harmful lies the general public has been led to believe about them. Just as trans folks don't owe anyone disclosure of their gender identity, bisexuals don't owe anyone disclosure of their sexuality.

Heterosexual people aren't beholden to this nonsense based on their sexuality, and the same should be for bisexual people.

PERIOD.

About Foxy

Independent Journa-Blogger.

Black Feminist Nerd.

Your mom's favorite (sorry, it's her choice).

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EMAIL: Foxy@FoxyJazzabelle.com

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